


Praying

by EljayRex



Category: South Park
Genre: Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, cartyle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-17 19:41:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11858352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EljayRex/pseuds/EljayRex
Summary: After leaving a letter for each one of his friends, Kyle said goodbye to the town of South Park so suddenly no one actually believed it at first. On an unprecedented return, Kyle himself walks down the street of where he used to live. The outside looks the same, but he doesn't have a clue on how the people have changed. Especially the one person that (he hoped) would have.





	1. Prologue

_"What the fuck did you just say?!" Kyle yelled, looking angrier than anyone had ever seen him. Everyone stared at him._

_Cartman smirked, "I said, you would be nothing without me." He paused, watching Kyle's face contort into rage. "What? Does that make you mad, Jew Rat?"_

_It was brought up because of some group discussion where they all argued with each other. And, of course, Cartman had to start some bullshit with him. Right outside the school too, when everyone was leaving._

_Kyle ground his teeth together, fists tightening in a familiar way. "You have no idea what I would do to get you out of my life. I've dealt with your shit all this time, I'm so god damn tired of it! Can you do me a favor, and just off yourself so I don't have to hear your stupid voice again?"_

_"Are you just saying that to make me mad, Kyle? It's not working very well." Cartman drawled out his name, facing him now. He watched as Kyle's chest moved manually as he tried to stay calm._

_If they got into a fight, it would be all the school talks about for the next week. He wouldn't be there to hear it though._

_Everyone was watching them as they stood on the sidewalk, it seemed like time had come to a stop._

_The silence was getting to him._

_"If you didn't exist, my life would be normal. Stan, Kenny, and I would have normal lives. I would be a writer. I could be in New York right now, taking my ten million dollars and donating it to people who need it..."_

_Kyle seemed to physically deflate as a realization hit him. "Unlike you. You don't deserve it. And I feel bad for your family and your life since you grew up so evil."_

_He wouldn't admit it until way later, but Cartman's heart sunk at those words. Sometimes, social interaction takes years to learn. Cartman still doesn't have it down completely._

_Thirteen year olds weren't supposed to call each other evil._

_"Kyle, we... we've suffered through a lot toge-" He ached through the words, trying to repair what he started. Cartman felt the burning pins of everybody's eyes into his exposed skin._

_"BECAUSE OF YOU!" The voice ripped through his vocal chords, a wall hitting the entire crowd as well as they all unconsciously shifted back. Kyle's fists tight and uncontrollably shaking._

_The words cut the thin layer of skin Cartman already had being exposed to Kyle. Them sinking into his blood, those knives chilling his system. Did Kyle really think that? Every horrible thing they've experienced?_

_Not all of it, surely-_

_A defence mechanism immediately rose to protect Cartman's emotions. He felt his mouth move, not really hearing but instead a muffle that sounded like himself talking. A few insults and repeating what he just said. Something to ward off what Kyle had yelled into his brain, attacking he idea that Kyle was still one of his best friends._

_Next thing he knew, Kyle swung a fist his direction. The whole world was blurred. Cartman's arms that blocked his face fom Kyle's throws were numb. He couldn't stop thinking about it._

"Because of you."  
_  
Lord have mercy if that didn't cripple Cartman's ego and super-ego in one swift blow._

_If Cartman was paying attention, he would have noticed that Kyle was landing some seriously hard hits on him. Deciding that this was a good time to end the fight since the principal just came out the front door of the school, he swung his right arm in a curved direction._

_It looks like he hit something solid, because the bright green and orange faded away from his vision. He felt hands wrap around his arms, dragging him away from Kyle. An urge to fight left Cartman's body._

_Kyle was left positively rattled. He had been constantly tired of Cartman's bullshit, he just..._

_Never would have guessed that today was going to be the day he ended it._

_Such a normal day, too. At least the air was fresh._  
  
The next day, Kyle didn't show up to school. That weekend, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman all got letters from their parents with 'From Kyle' written in cursive on the front.

It detailed memorable points of their friendship, and also said he was leaving and not coming back. He made it very clear not to follow him, or they'll 'regret it.'

Kyle also stated in his writing he may come back to graduate, but nothing was set in stone. Kenny's and Stan's letters were only about a page and a half, they found. In contrast, Cartman's was four. Four entire pages.

Yet, Cartman didn't tell Kenny and Stan that he read it all. Giving the excuse of, "I'm not gonna read a love letter. Those aren't my style." But he did, he oh so did.

After Cartman had read it, he was fuming mad, ready to tear apart an entire city with his bare hands.

Specifically, where Kyle wrote; _'And you're right, we have gone through a lot together. But what kind of fuck-all excuse is that? To call me names that bother me, just because we're 'friends'? Like, I asked you to stop several times, douchebag. So if I ever come back, be prepared because I'm not dealing with you if you don't show me respect.'_

Reading that at the time made Cartman crunch the paper in one of his fists. Show him respect? A thirteen year old with nothing left to lose wouldn't do that in a million years.

But eventually, thirteen year olds turn fourteen. Fourteen year olds turn fifteen, and then sixteen.

So much for respect. Now Cartman just didn't care. That note was from three years ago, it's not like he still cares.

Yeah. Not likely.


	2. Remember

Time only moves forward, and in South Park, the time moves slower when people leave.

Kyle left.

Time went by ever so slowly.

In contrast, Kyle's life had sped up to light speed. Everything felt quicker, and his mind did too. Without all the extra drama, that is.

His new school was somewhere past Denver, somewhere nobody from South Park would look. Everyone liked him, too. He was cute, new, funny, and smart.

If he ever went back to South Park, for whatever God forsaken reason, he couldn't stay. Too many people like him over there. Kyle had a temporary job he loved, which had better pay than the state minimum. He was even in love.

Yet, somehow, he found himself on his motorcycle in the middle of the night.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he turned his bike on. Why was he doing this? Oh, right, a feeling he got. A stupid feeling of wanting to go ho- back. To where he grew up, melancholy style.

"Stupid, STUPID fucking idiot!" Kyle hissed, wanting to convince himself to go back to his room and sleep the rest of Friday night off. It's too early on into Saturday, though.

Adjusting his mirrors as silently as possible and preparing to take off, he saw Ike in his bedroom window. He quickly opened it.

"Kyle! Where the hell are you going at one in the morning?!" Ike said, trying to talk over the rumble of the motorcycle while staying quiet. He noticed the backpack on his brother, which was probably full of clothes.

Gripping the leather handles, they squeaked against his gloves. He didn't know what to say, but Ike could see the moonlight illuminating the guilt on Kyle's face.

"You know what?" Ike spoke, and Kyle looked up at him. "Whatever you're doing, stay safe and have fun."

Kyle replied with a weak smile and slipped his helmet on, pleasantly surprised that he didn't threaten to tell their mom. Giving Ike a thumbs up, he revved onto the road and started on his way.

After about ten minutes in the dead of night, the feeling of doing something wrong shook off. Thoughts of what would happen when he returned flooded his mind, none of which were good. Fear and worry made him clutch the handles that much harder as the wind whipped his leather pants.

Was he going to regret this? If he did, he would just go back home anyway. He's done a lot of spontaneous things that he didn't regret, but that's different. Kyle knew this was like walking into the past and the future all wrapped up in one.

Ludicrous thoughts kept passing through his head, and before he knew it, two and a half hours had passed. He was on the road he recognized so easily. Now what?

Kyle sighed, letting out stress and butterflies for only reasons he could understand. He could go to a hotel, and then sneak somewhere else in the morning. Fuck.

How bastardly, the way he left. Leaving notes for his friends, not even saying where he's going. Not using any social media, remaking all of them but on private so no one from South Park could see what he's doing. Remembering that made a sour feeling sink to his stomach.

'With age comes maturity,' Kyle thought.

Turning his headlight off with shaky fingers, he silently sped his way through the dead-silent town.

A hotel might be a bad idea, since his parents could call and ask if he's there. He can't be on the street either, someone might see him or he could get mugged. But...

He could possibly go to one of his old friend's houses. But who?

Stan's maybe? No, he would probably have a bitch-fit and would keep asking why he left. But mostly the fact that 'it's like 3 a.m., why right now?' He didn't want drama right now. Kenny's seems like a better choice. He's probably awake anyway.

Jitters shook his spine and stomach, wondering what Kenny would say when he saw him. Nervousness sent shocks to Kyle's fingers and joints. Shaking out his hands, Kyle had to start driving again due to some far away headlights behind him.

He passed some of his classmates houses, several of his friends. As he rolled by, he noticed major and minor changes to their yards.

Strangely, Cartman's window was open. Someone fumbled what looked to be binoculars, and that's when Kyle put the petal to the metal. The engine popped, and only slowed down to go over the train tracks. He had a helmet on, face impossible to see. Besides, there's no way was he going to get caught up in his drama again.

What Kyle really wanted though, was for no one to know he's there, unless he decides it. One thing he remembers is that Cartman wouldn't have a filter talking about those things, keeping secrets.

They weren't friends.

It was hard to see Kenny's house in the dark, since it's at the edge of town where there aren't any lights. An owl let out a call in the distance, from his right. Spooky.

Eventually, he forced himself to get off his bike and approach the familiar wood.

After giving a few steady knocks, Kyle waited and listened.

"Kenny!" A croaky and gravelled voice yelled from inside, the walls paper thin, "Get the door!"

Footsteps and shuffling could be heard, loud and angry. The door suddenly snapped wide open, but didn't bang against the wall.

Instead, it was held by a strong hand attached to a strong arm. And a strong chest. Muscular. That's what Kyle noticed. Heart banging against his chest, he looked up at his face. It's grown, but unmistakably Kenny. If Kyle didn't grow up with him, he would have thought he was a model.

"Yeah?" He spoke, voice gentle but firm. You could hear the tiredness seeping through.

"D-Did you miss me?" Kyle warily said, voice weak and unconfident.

"Um...Who are you?" Kenny said with an actual curiosity. Especially at three in the morning. Some guy with a motorcycle helmet on? Not the creepiest thing to happen to him, but probably the most interesting.

"Wha-" Kyle started, totally forgetting to take off his helmet. Idiot. Putting a hand around the back rim, he pulled it off and shook his head to get the static out.

Kenny looked absolutely baffled. After three years of trying to find him. At his door, Kyle Broflovski. He was past grief a long time ago, accepting he would never see his friend again.

Suddenly, Kyle felt the wind knocked out of him. Chest constricted, he tried to push his arms out but realized that Kenny wasn't actually trying to kill him. He was being hugged.

Instead of escaping, Kyle awkwardly tried to wrap his arms around him as well. After feeling Kyle pat him awkwardly, that was Kenny's cue to let go.

"Dude, what the fuck?" He said, teary eyed. Just glad that he's not dead. Back then it practically like he was.

"I know, it's been too long. I'm sorry." Kyle whispered half-heartedly, like that was gonna fix the probable hole in Kenny's heart.

"Too long, huh? Is that your excuse?" Kenny shook off the thought. It didn't matter now. "Whatever, just come inside so we can talk."

Kyle wasn't quick to impose. "R-right now? Aren't people sleeping? I can wait until mornin-"

"No, no, you're not going anywhere, anytime soon. Not after this long, ya fag." He laughed. Kyle chuckled at his southern charm.

It felt good to be back.


	3. Encounter

Kyle woke up with the gentle sun brushing his eyelids. He stretched his arms, without opening his eyes. Today's agenda; work, exercise, practice guitar. It's the weekend.

Grumbling with barely any delight, he wiggled the rest of his body to wake himself up. Kyle hadn't even opened his eyes yet and he can already tell his bedroom window wasn't open, like he always kept it. Maybe Ike closed it because it was too cold.

Finally opening his eyes, and blinking several times, he looked up at his ceiling. Crusty, yellow, and stained with water leaks.

This was not his ceiling.

His celiling is white, smooth, and has dimensions. But this ceiling is flat. This bed is also not his, because Kyle keeps his bed clean. What seemed like thousands of crumbs stuck onto his back when he moved. Kyle sat up and looked around.

Some posters with almost-naked women and men scattered the walls. The floor had clothes thrown haphazardly, noting the underwear on the ground and not in a drawer. The smell was suprisingly pleasent though, like a pumpkin roll. He could hear talking in another room, a distant and deep hum sounding familiar. Much more comfortable than dead silence. 

Before Kyle could react, there were few silent footsteps and then the door creaking open to reveal Kenny dressed for the day.

"Hey man!" Kenny whispered, happily. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Ugh." Kyle grunted. The sensitive skin of his hand from just waking up rubbed against the cotton sheet. It was unpleasant, a sure sign of a sensory overload today.

"I know, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world. At least today is chore day." Kenny spoke. Kyle was about to ask, when he continued, "Hey, do you wanna go with me to the store?"

"Yeah, sure." Kyle replied half-heartedly, trying to remember what they talkwd about last night before they fell asleep.

Something about how Stan and Cartman have been since he left, but he realized that he was too tired to pay attention, therefore placing those memories in the back of his mind.

Today he was going to decide to try and talk to Stan, with Kenny's help of course. About Cartman... Kyle wasn't sure if he wanted to at all. But he did vaguely remember Kenny saying that Cartman "really had changed" or something.

He felt himself cringing at everything their fat friend had done. A hypocrite. A true hypocrite.

Kenny eventually got Kyle out of his bed and brought him outside his house. Noticing something was missing, Kyle exclaimed, "Where's my motorcycle?!"

A moment of silence. "Shit, dude. Uh, did you drive that thing here?" Kenny panicked, looking as frazzled as Kyle.

"Oh fuck oh fuck- my mom is gonna KILL ME! Kenny, do you know how much money we put into it? It's my child, a-and I don't even want children!" He frantically explained the severity of the situation, freaking out even more in his head.

"Okay, okay," Kenny started with a sigh, "how about we take my car and go look around town for it?" At that, Kyle was confused. There wasn't a car in sight.

Suddenly, Kenny whipped open the garage door with a loud bang. Kyle winced, but looked into the oil-covered room. To the left was what looked to be a tan pick-up truck, assumingly Kenny's. Hearing a snicker, Kyle moved around him to spot his bike safe and sound.

So, Kyle promptly started beating Kenny's arm in with both of his fists, almost playfully.

"You fucking asshole. You scared the shit out of me." Kyle's voice full of relief, Kenny just laughed.

"It was just a prank, bro?"

Kyle scoffed. "We're not even at the store yet and I've already had an almost panic attack." He smiled to the taller, to tell him he wasn't mad. Kenny sat down in the car, and Kyle followed suit.

"Eh, well, I'm sure we'll run into someone that'll make your reappearance an overexaggeration." As Kyle fastened his seatbelt, he could tell that Kenny was right.

After taking off in the car, a question plagued his mind. Something that may or may not lead on a sick tangent of talking that will leave them both sour for the rest of the day. 

"Hey, Kenny?" Kyle spoke, almost silently. "Are you still angry that I left?"

Kenny looked as if he were pondering a thought. "No. I'm glad you came back at all. I know how shitty this place is."

Kyle performed a side-hug as best as he could, and stared out the window. The air from the outsde blowing comfortably on them. It was a quick drive, moreso than at his own house.

A familiar building entered his view. Grocery Mart. Obviously it looked the same, but a lot more cars filled the lot.

"Is this many people normal? It isn't payday, is it?" He inquired. So much for laying low today.

"Ah, yeah. There's been more people moving in. Several new neighborhoods popped up about two years ago. It ain't so desolate now, is it, Kyle?" Kenny teased, giggling. Kyle smiled because he used to remember complaining being in the middle of nowhere. Now that was a good memory.

As they parked, Kyle glanced past Kenny and saw a couple walking out towards their side of the parking lot. Kyle squinted his eyes, but couldn't tell if it was someone they knew. 

Kenny peered that way as well and said, "Oh hey. That's Creek. Here, let me get a gram off shorty first, and then you can come out if you want." Kyle opened his mouth to quiz him, but he was already going and gone. He decided to stay for now, Kyle wanted to watch their mannerisms first.

Silently watching from the inside of his friends truck, Kyle watched as none other than Tweek and Craig (hand in hand) walked up to Kenny with smiles on.

"Hey!" Kenny hollered, "There's my homies!" The sound through the car was muffled, but Kyle could hear enough. He gave Craig a fist bump, and handed Tweek a twenty instead. What the fuck, Kenny? Is that how you greet friends now?

"You're lucky you get my discount, Kenneth." Tweek replied, and appeared to hand something off to him. Kenny laughed in response, showing off his right middle finger. Kyle saw Kenny's left hand put something in his pocket. Oh no.

"Oi, dipshit," Craig spoke, "What did you make on the Chem test?" Surprisingly, Craig actually sounded concerned. Huh. Kyle would have never guessed that Craig could be an ally to Kenny in the sense of education.

"Uh, a B." Kenny sounded genuinely irritated, and Craig just replied with a sigh.

"I know you can do better than that, Ken." That's when Kyle tuned out since they seemed to be talking about other non-important things.

He looked out the window, peering at the few freshly fallen leaves. The sun stung his eyes a little, but looked out towards the highway anyway. Kyle pondered whether he should get out or not.

Not even feeling his hand on the door handle, he was suddenly stood next to Kenny with his head peering at the ground between their four pairs of shoes. For some unknown reason, Kyle's heart was revving 100 beats per minute. What did he have to be nervous about? Were they going to scold him for being gone or something?

"Woah... Kyle?" Tweek mustered out.

Kyle looked up at them both. "Haven't seen you guys in a while. How have you been?"

Tweek stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him.

"Dude. It's so good to see your face." Tweek heartedly said, holding onto his shoulders. "You have no idea how boring it was without you."

Not wanting to break his heart, to tell Tweek he wasn't staying, he hummed as he opened his mouth but wad interrupted. "He's not staying." Craig stated.

"How do you know that?" Tweek replied, looking behind him.

"The look on his face. His posture. It was nice seeing you anyway, Kyle."

"Nice seeing you too, Craig."

Tweek and Craig walked to their own car while Kenny and Kyle made their way towards the daunting building.


	4. Overload

The store went swimmingly. After taking plenty of groceries to Kenny's home, they sat down to a late breakfast. The atmosphere was surprisingly calm as Kevin and Karen ate with them.

Despite his prying and attempting to convince Kenny to help him make breakfast, the other kept insisting that he relax instead. He promptly sat down in a kitchen chair.

When Karen walked in, she said to Kyle, "I remember you! You were one of Kenny's friends that went missing!"

Kyle just chuckled in response and rubbed the back of his head. Kenny loaded his plate, but left saying he would be back in a minute.

Almost immediately after he left, Kevin grabbed Kyle's wrist, which startled him a little.

"Kyle. Are you staying?" He said, with an intense glare.

"Uh, no. Why do you ask?" Kyle replied plainly.

"Oh fuck," Kevin said to himself, "Dude, listen. You shouldn't. Kenny was devastated when you left. We felt so bad for him. I don't know if he'll handle it if you leave ag-"

Karen interjected, "He's fine. Don't try to persuade Kyle to stay and make him feel guilty about it!" which was said in a hushed tone.

The three could hear Kenny's loud and fast footsteps back to the table to settle down for breakfast.

"Just think about it, please? He really needs it." Kevin finished.

Kenny walked in and took his seat between Kyle and Karen. "Hey famsquad, did I miss anything?"

Karen rolled her eyes, "Not really. They were just talking about how they could smell the pumpkin spice roll."

He chuckled and said, "Yeah, that's for desert later. I get first dibs though."

Karen whined and stuck out her tongue in protest only for Kenny to reach out his hands for them to take. At first Kyle was confused until he saw the three of them connect hands. Ah, a prayer, Kyle thought, completing the circle

Karen went first, then Kevin, saying how thankful they are for family and friends they have. Kenny asked Kyle if he wanted to pray, but he passed. It became Kenny's turn.

"Dear Father, thank you for returning Kyle to us. We missed him so much, and it's better late than never. Amen." The rest of them repeated amen, and Kenny gave Kyle a cheerful smile.

Kyle didn't know what to think. Then they ate, casually talking about what came to mind.

Afterward, the two of them were in Kenny's room arguing about going over to Stan's.

"I don't think I'm ready."

"What? Why wouldn't you be ready?" Kenny protested.

"It's just... It's been so long and I don't know how he'll react. What if he tries to punch me?" Kyle panicked, thinking of the worst that could happen.

"Dude, take a chill pill," Kenny paused, "I doubt that'll happen."

"Yeah, but you don't KNOW that! He could kick me right back out and I came to see him too! Not just you!" He ranted, and Kenny through his hands up in response.

"Dude, it's whatever you want. Just think about it. I'm gonna go take a shower." Kenny said frankly, and walked out.

Kyle sighed and sat down on the bed with a huff. Kenny's phone sat beside him.

He was going to think about how Stan would react again until Kenny's phone went off with a ping, the screen lighting up to show 'New message.'

Resisting the urge to look, he sat in silence pondering who it was from.

It pinged again.

Picking it up, Kyle swiped to unlock, it didn't have one. So, Kyle clicked the notification. Someone by the name of E.

- _  
I had a dream about him_

 _Dude it was freaky_  
-

He was intrigued. So he looked at the messages they sent before.

\-- _  
I keep thinking about him, Kenny_

_i wonder why_

_I just have a feeling he's gonna come back_

_soon?_

_Yeah. I keep thinking about how he would have changed and I feel guilty_

_you were just a kid_

_So was he and he didn't deserve that_  
\--

Looking at everything before that, it was just messages about meeting up and eating together, at least once a week.

Kyle decided to message him back using Kenny's texting style.  
__  
what was it  
  
As Kyle waited, he wondered who this person was.

We were in a bed, talking about all of us and he was actually listening to me instead of ignoring me like in the others  
_  
I feel like he's here_

 _I want to see him again_  
  
Kyle had no idea what to say, so he looked at their previous texts again and saw that sometimes Kenny wouldn't respond until an hour or two later. He thought it would be fine if he didn't respond.

One more ping came through.  
__  
You'll tell me if you see him, right?  
  
A feeling of familiarity and discomfort flowed through him all the same. Who is this guy?

Laying the phone down, Kyle sighed shakily. Everything had caught up to him after a long moment of silence.

What did his parents think of him being gone? Did they call? He wasn't going to check. Did Ike already rat him out? That happens half the time, only used for bargaining. He's back in the hell hole that was his childhood and he's deathly afraid of seeing...

This day had been too much for him to handle.

Why did he come here? What was he hoping to accomplish? Curse his spontaneity, curse him for returning to the past that wasn't relevant anymore. He had a new life that wasn't here, he was in love, working on his education and job.

Oh right, a sensory overload.

Curling up on himself, he wraps his arms around his legs and pushes his face into his thighs. Every muscle felt tense, and his hands shook.

He can't describe why it happens but what does happen is that Kyle falls into an intense anxiety. Included in the package is that everything in his senses becomes too much, especially hearing and feeling.

The shower was so loud, the rustling of his clothes to move his arms up to his ears was loud, although it was comforting. He was so hyper-aware of the clothes that itched his skin. Chest heaving, he started to breathe a little too quickly.

What was it? Was it the message? Was it waking up in an unfamiliar place? Was it too many things happening so quickly? Seeing Tweek and Craig was a lot, meeting Kenny's siblings again was a lot, eating breakfast food was a lot. No wonder, he thought to himself.

The door opened across the room unbeknownst to Kyle. Kenny was dressed fully, ready to head out.

"Hey, did you miss me?" Kenny asked in a cheery voice. Gazing upon the other, he knew something was wrong.

Kenny immediately sat to Kyle's left, and tried to get his attention by whispering his name a few times.

Patiently waiting for Kyle to respond, he heard Kyle's breathing slow down gradually.

Kyle's mind eventually became static of thought and payed attention to the moment. His senses weren't as intense as he sighed.

Lifting his head up, he looked up to Kenny who was staring forward, presumably at the door, wall, or the poster of the naked man right next to the exit. "Okay." Kyle murmured.

"Huh?" Kenny asked, he didn't think he said anything.

"We can go see Stan now." He replied, feeling tired from the overload. Kyle knew deep down he needed to and a nap would just make it worse.

"Okay," Kenny whispered. "let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?  
> Also thank you to each of you who left kudos, I'm so amazed and surprised there were so many!  
> Sorry it took me so long. I just got back into South Park since last year, but I'm hoping that people's interest in my story is still strong.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
